SYMPTOMS

I started writing down
My symptoms but
They were such boring words
Like, fake. So then I thought
I'd turn my mind to objects;
What could be realer, right?—
Hello bureau
Hello vanity
Hello bedside table
Hello bed
With the girl in it with lifted feet
(not me btw). Saying this
With my mind I got braver and
Looked out the window
(the OG browser)
Outside was outside
The building next door held many
Opportunities to ponder
The fates of other men
And women, both cis and trans
And objects
But nah, I was tired
I'm tired
This is happening now
I'm walking across the room
To get another smoke
What happens next
Will astonish you 

HOW TO GROW A PAINTING

First you must pick a frame. 
Then, choose one main mode:
landscape
portrait
group scene
abstract…
Once the frame is populated
by the mode blur, you can
begin to grow your painting:
the more you look at it,
the more it takes shape. This first
level’s tricky. E.g.,
you pick portrait
but something grows like
a breathing house:
keep looking and a door might form
to the room where the portrait’s painted. 
Entrez! 
It’s key to keep playing—
else the scene might condense, e.g.,
to the word HOUSE. 
And vice versa: 
once a nude is perfect—
every casual nail and hair
in place, if you look on
they may flow
into a phrase. Some triangles. 
That’s totally normal.
In this game
you can basically grow
whatever: vast crops
of teens, patterns, vowels
in gallop through the blank field. 
Angles of heaven, epic battles,
a nature morte!
Some players
make an asshole mirror
or a horizontal glass
reflecting the roof of a cathedral
in whose depths an echo
sighs: Ich bin. The urge
to enter the frame will be great.
When you attempt this
on a lower level
the painting simply alters.
Those who keep playing
through Love, War, Selfie
and Silent Dialogue
attain the level
where their painting solidifies.
At this point you’ll be given
the option to go visible. 
The app can identify you and may send
your profile information to others.
Now you can compare your work
to all the players’. Amazing!
This may result in unexpected
charges. Malicious apps
may cost you money
by making calls without
your confirmation. Only those who
don’t check “yes” to the Share terms of service
reach the game’s final
level:
to enter the painting. The upload’s fast.
As one of the master
players, you become
part of the affective mainframe
that feeds the progress
of others. It’s really fun
to play technique
or a color! 
Further charges may apply.
The clouds may move one way
way, then the other. 
For example,
you may see a crowd
gathered on the dock
to watch you go down—
from the sunset’s perspective.

BLESSING

A white stag came up
To me and said you'll
Never be an artist,
I said thank you,
Thank you.

IN A HIGH GAS-LIGHT TIME

In the high gas-light time
The eye-thought keeps tipping towards death.
Child in the cathedral.
A triangle voyeuring at the window.
He looked in the mirror and he
Saw stars.

Every noun is good. Each sound
Holds its own precedent and the hint
Of another sound. Oh, would I ever.
In the shittiest of grease dens
The cold picture of u shone for me,
Icon,
St. Maximilian Kolbe or Nico.
Light de star,

On Cloud we eat breakfast,
Make love in ether
Like gods of old.

ANA BOŽIČEVIĆ is the author of Stars of the Night Commute and Rise in the Fall, winner of the 2013 Lambda Literary Award. With Sophia Le Fraga, she 1/2 of the tandem, not_I. The poems here are from a new manuscript, Joy of Missing Out.