OWN IT ALL A LITTLE.
Giorgio and Coco come over
to discuss the prospect of
flipping a house in Far Rockaway.
Giorgio has a Four Loko.
Coco has a Four Loko.
Chanel has a Four Loko.
I have a Four Loko.
The key is inspired renovations,
Giorgio says. We play
Monopoly and take sips.
Life has ups and downs.
Life is also the name of a board game.
RED BULL GIVES YOU THINGS.
I'm pouring Red Bull
straight into my ADD
cat's mouth (yeah
we got a cat) because
the only thing better
than a beauty pageant
cats is one where
my cat is on Red Bull
and kills the talent
portion of the show
winning me $100
of new cat outfits
which I can then
mark up on eBay.
DYE IT PINK.
I try 7 or 8 different Facebook headers,
but none of them feels like me. Giorgio
interrupts Coco and Chanel to ask what
he should wear to our mutual friend's funeral.
This is a sad poem, I should have warned you.
We all agree, The J. Crew jacket looks fine,
doesn't call too much attention to itself.
Chanel continues her conversation with Coco,
The problem is some companies put
a pink ribbon on anything. Chanel puts on
her favorite necklace I got her.
It is full of gems that look like rubies
but are actually filled with glass.
We all look at her. What? It's not pink, she says.
SWIFTLY COMPLETING YOUR APPOINTED ROUNDS DAILY.
The new modernist art stamps are
actually pretty cute, but I decide to email
Coco anyway because this can't wait:
She and Giorgio are having a hard time
deciding whether to adopt a puppy
or a child. Financially, either is an
both look good in booties.
What do you think of the name Dior?
Giorgio says, unironically. I think
it would stifle his or her or its brand growth, I say,
but it's your choice. I think about this
again later at couples yoga. Actually,
it could have some trickle-down marketability.
UN-SEE WHAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
I make Chanel chia seeds for breakfast
on gluten-free toast with extra extras.
She eats about $7 worth of it,
and then illegally downloads the latest
version of PhotoShop. I test out the
"Gaussian Blur" feature on a couple of
James Franco selfies, but have a breakthrough:
I'm not really into art. The mail comes.
6 pamphlets of coupons and a fake credit card.
I tell Chanel I love her so much I'd adopt
a dolphin for her. She says she prefers
baby pandas because they are so round
they don't look real.
PETER COLE FRIEDMAN is a poet and artist based in Brooklyn, NY. Recent work has appeared, or is forthcoming, in The Recluse, Similar: Peaks::, Otis Nebula, Five Quarterly, and The Sensation Feelings Journal. He co-edits the virtual literary and arts magazine glitterMOB.